They Hate Us Cause They Anus

nursery:

*does my makeup as therapy*

(via h3adlik3ahol3)

pettyrevenge:

At my job, most workers (myself included) keep our snacks in the break room fridge. I stack my bag of chex mix on top of my lunch. Well, about a month ago, a new hire, (we’ll call her “Amy”) kept stealing my chex mix. After a couple days of this happening, I decided class action petty revenge needed to be taken. I bought a bag of chocolate chex mix the next day to see if she would take that kind as well. She did. After work that day, I bought another bag of chocolate chex mix and some cat food. I emptied out all the chex mix, poured some cat food in a bowl, covered it in chocolate and put it back in the chex mix bag.

The next day at work, I saw her go into the break room. I saw her conceal the bag and make her way back to her desk. She opened it, and without looking at the contents, scooped up a giant handful of my special revenge mix, and began to chew. I sat at my desk, sipping a Coffee with a shit eating grin, knowing what would happen next.

Her eyes widened, and her face drained of color. She tried to get up, but the horrid taste was causing her to gag uncontrollably. She tripped over her chair, spitting out the vile concoction of cat food and chocolate as she frantically stumbled trying to keep her balance. She got up and hurried towards the bathroom, looking like she was about to cry. I’d never felt so damn good.

(Source: redd.it, via trippygothhippie)

lordtrash:

Me: What time does the bus come?
Bus company: it’s a surprise :)

(via trippygothhippie)

batched:

notsosilentwallflower:

batched:

knightlock:

how much do boy/girlfriend cost

at least 3 potato

didn’t it use to be 2 potato

the recession hit us hard

(via trippygothhippie)

lacewithay:

chodeboy:

benfoldsone:

cartouche-dreams:

Long make out session
Back rubs
Cuddles
Deep talks
Forehead kisses
Hearing each other breathe
Holding hands
Laughs and corny jokes

sleep

a big dick in my ass

@fleetwood-mac-and-cheese

(via trippygothhippie)